Today I was holding Sophie and Addie on my lap on the couch. We were discussing the next days events. Sophie always likes to know what we have planned and she likes to know exactly (like if I am telling her what we are doing the next day and I forget to say that we are going to eat lunch, she lets me know and adds it in at the appropriate spot :) Anyway, I was telling her that tomorrow they are going to go play at Clark and Lisa's and I was going to go to the temple.
Addie pipes up with " you getting ma-wied at the temple??" I said no, that I had already been married in the temple to Daddy." She said " ya, you marry daddy in the temple and daddy's in heaven now and he is my angel and he holds me." I thought she had said "and he hears me", so I replied, "and Daddy hears you?" She said adamantly "No, he HOLDS me" Daddy holds me.
I told her that I was so glad and that that made me happy. She wanted to know why I was crying then.
I am so grateful for these little miracle moments. They really are miracles. Sweet Addie doesn't have any idea how much they mean, or how much they help me. She is just talking and sharing things with me. She was 6 months old when Brad died. She really did not get the opportunity to know him here on earth. This has been a heartbreaking thing for me. There is nothing I would like more than to have each of my girls learn from their daddy and be like him. I wanted them to be able to feel how much he loves them and feel how that love lifts you up and makes you feel like you can do anything in the world. I wanted them to be able to spend time with him and laugh with him and KNOW him. It makes me so sad to think of them going through the journeys of this life without him.
And then I get to have these miracle moments that teach me. They teach me many things that I can't even put in to words. They teach me that they DO get to know their daddy. That even though I may not get to see the interaction, he does influence them. They have been able to have the miracle of getting to know him even though he is beyond the veil. It teaches me to have faith. Faith that they really won't be "gipped" in this life and that he can influence them and help them ; probably in many ways that I can not. Faith that when I can feel him near; and when It is so strong that I look around and try to see him - to just believe, even though I can not see.
and listen to what I feel and don't doubt it. Believe.
My sweet girls teach me to believe on a daily basis.