Sunday, February 24, 2013

searching



After Brad died I used to have the most horrible, crushingly sad dream. 

In the dream I had just lost Brad again.  
Throughout the whole dream I was running all over looking for him and I could never find him. 
People I would pass would say, "he just went that way." "he just passed by." "he's just around the corner up ahead."   
and I would follow the trail but he was always just out of sight up ahead. 

I would wake up sobbing. Never having found him. 

I am so grateful I no longer have that dream.
  
And I think I know why I don't. 

Because I have finally learned how to find him again.

and he is right here with us. 

Always.

He is with us everyday.
I can feel him laughing with us and crying with us. 
I can feel him holding me up and steadying me and helping me to do this.

I am still missing him every minute. 

But I am no longer searching for him

Because he is here.  







3 comments:

  1. Nice. Thanks for sharing.
    Lynn

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jenny,
    I usually spend a good hour or so every 6 mths-1yr reading your posts. I love all of them! I don't know why you haven't written a book yet! I am very serious. I think you are an incredibly strong woman, wife, mother and friend, and daughter. Thanks for sharing ALL of your heart in these posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sunshine. You are so sweet. I appreciate your kind words. It helps me be brave enough to write :)
      Hope all your family is good.

      Delete