Sunday, February 24, 2013

searching



After Brad died I used to have the most horrible, crushingly sad dream. 

In the dream I had just lost Brad again.  
Throughout the whole dream I was running all over looking for him and I could never find him. 
People I would pass would say, "he just went that way." "he just passed by." "he's just around the corner up ahead."   
and I would follow the trail but he was always just out of sight up ahead. 

I would wake up sobbing. Never having found him. 

I am so grateful I no longer have that dream.
  
And I think I know why I don't. 

Because I have finally learned how to find him again.

and he is right here with us. 

Always.

He is with us everyday.
I can feel him laughing with us and crying with us. 
I can feel him holding me up and steadying me and helping me to do this.

I am still missing him every minute. 

But I am no longer searching for him

Because he is here.  







3 comments:

  1. Jenny,
    I usually spend a good hour or so every 6 mths-1yr reading your posts. I love all of them! I don't know why you haven't written a book yet! I am very serious. I think you are an incredibly strong woman, wife, mother and friend, and daughter. Thanks for sharing ALL of your heart in these posts.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Sunshine. You are so sweet. I appreciate your kind words. It helps me be brave enough to write :)
      Hope all your family is good.

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